Psalm 27, KJV
“1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. 3 Though an army should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war should rise against me, even in this will I be confident. 4 One thing have I desired of the LORD; that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in His temple. 5 For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret places of His tabernacle shall He hide me; He shall set me upon a rock. 6 And then shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me; therefore I will offer in His tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD. 7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice! Have mercy also upon me and answer me. 8 When Thou saidst, ‘Seek ye My face,’ my heart said unto Thee, ‘Thy face, LORD, will I seek.’ 9 Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger. Thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. 11 Teach me Thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a level path because of mine enemies. 12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies; for false witnesses have risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. 13 I would have fainted, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart. Wait, I say, on the LORD!”
Psalm 27 was once one of my favorite Psalms. I became an atheist at a very young age, but God worked on my heart and mind until slowly I became a believing Christian. God had continually shown me His love and goodness by demonstrating patience and allowing me to feel His overflowing kindness. He did this even as I sought to disregard Him, desiring my own way. Every time God spoke to me, I tried to ignore Him, going so far as to even tell Him to leave me alone so I could be an unconflicted atheist. I knew my own way was leading to futility, but pride is a strong motivator. God’s mercy helped to slowly break down my pride, until I was willing to, slowly but surely, let Him in. What made me decide to become a Christian theist specifically was working through “moral” objections I had to the Bible and becoming convinced of the fact that is a book of divine as well as human origin. Not wanting to accept traditions of men, I worked through questions of doctrine straight from the Bible, until I became convinced of the deity of Christ and the essential doctrine relating to the Holy Trinity from my understanding of the biblical witness alone and not by anyone’s insistence that they were truths.
As a Christian, just as when I was an atheist, I went through hard times. The Psalms were always a great comfort to me at these moments, and the Bible I have from some of those periods is underlined all throughout the Psalms. Psalm 27 is no different, and numerous verses that struck me with the faithfulness of God are boldly underlined. I was encouraged by the confidence of the Psalmist in God’s protection from all evil rising against him. The knowledge that God would take care of His people despite all forms of enemies and wars made me feel comfortable trusting in God. It strengthened my resolve through personal crises as well as my faith that God would be sovereign through the non-violent action that I believed Jesus commanded of all Christians in the New Testament.
While intellectually I still believe this promise, the end of my marriage, the painful experiences leading up to it, and my resulting movement further away from God have contributed to me feeling very disconnected from Him. My struggle is not so much in believing His promises, but in believing that they apply to me. Verse four reminds me of my thinking on this matter when it says that the Psalmist is seeking to dwell in the house of the Lord. How can I claim that God will protect me when I am not seeking to dwell in Him anywhere near like I should? Feeling estranged from God makes it harder to feel comfortable following after Him, which in turn makes one feel that the promises God makes to His children aren’t applicable to oneself.
The struggles that David speaks about in this Psalm brings to mind a lecture I recently heard from a Mennonite folk musician named Brad Yoder. He spoke about our impulse as humans to make things better as soon as possible. This resonated with me because all of the pain, trauma, and sorrow we encounter in life seems like it may crush us. I have often reflected on the fact that as a result of these troubles, we can either draw closer to God realizing that we don’t have control and the situation is best left in His hands, or we can move away from Him, fearing where He will take us next. The wisdom Yoder shared was that at times, “things need to be as bad as they really are.” We must go through trying and tumultuous times– some of us more so than others, some of us less. However, it is not a life without pain that ought to be our ultimate goal, but a life in which we have a caring, compassionate, and sovereign God to carry us through, so that we may deepen in our love and trust for Him. We are not perfect and are capable of messing up any number of times along the way, or even losing sight of God completely. But the cross of Christ is God’s strongest way of communicating that no sin on our part should stop us from pursuing God, because He has removed every obstacle between Him and us through Christ. God has not abandoned us, but is “[our] light and [our] salvation.” Whom or what shall we fear that can honestly separate us from God? He has determined to remove all obstacles, if we are only willing to walk toward Him.
Looking over verse five, it is of interest to me that the Psalmist predicates His seeking of God (in verse four) on the fact that He knows God to be trustworthy (“for He will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble”). It is this knowledge of God’s goodness that should move one to seek Him. I am trying to make it my goal, as verse eight says, to seek the Lord’s face. As verse ten points out, one may be abandoned by a father or mother, or, if I may take liberties with the text, even a husband or wife. But God does not abandon. God is gracious and loving through all of our heartaches and losses, and as He showed us through Christ, He is in our suffering with us– not separate and sovereign alone, but loving and intimate as well. When we feel unworthy, abandoned, and alone, God is still there. By God’s grace, I pray to grow stronger in Him and claim without reservation this Psalm for myself once more.